In my professional life as a criminal defense attorney for more than fifteen years, I experience stress, and I also support my clients through some of the most stressful times in their lives. I am passionate about developing and sharing tools to help others alleviate stress and experience more peace in their lives.
Having a pending criminal case, or having other stressful life situations, can feel overwhelming, and can consume much of your time, energy, and emotions. The uncertainty of outcomes and the complexity of legal systems can leave people feeling powerless.
It’s easy to get caught up in worries about the unknown, which could include what a prosecutor or judge will decide, how long the legal process may take, or how the legal process may impact other areas of your life. Focusing on these things that you cannot control drains your energy and leaves you feeling even more stressed and anxious. So, what can you do to help alleviate these feelings of stress and overwhelm?
One crucial belief can empower you through these difficult times: the belief that you can focus on what you can control.
How to Maintain Focus on What You Can Control
Dr. Stephen Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, introduces the concept of three circles: The Circle of Concern, the Circle of Influence, and the Circle of Control. This framework is particularly relevant when navigating your emotional state when you have a pending criminal case or other life stressors.
If you are facing a time in your life where you need to select an attorney, you can use these practical tips for selecting the right attorney for you. Taking these actions are within your Circle of Control:
Select an attorney who listens to you.
Select an attorney who, after listening to you, creates a plan for your case and communicates that plan to you in a way that you understand.
Select an attorney who answers your questions in a way that you understand rather than in a way that makes them sound smart but makes you feel confused.
Select an attorney who you can tell cares about truly helping people.
Select an attorney who tells you the answers to questions that you didn’t know that you had before you even ask those questions because the attorney has walked other clients through similar situations and knows that sharing that information with you will help you.
Select an attorney who has experience working closely with the local judges and prosecutors who will be decision-makers on your case.
Once you have hired an attorney, you can use these practical tips for effectively working with your attorney. Taking these actions are within your Circle of Control:
Ask your attorney questions. The unknown is a scary place to live. When you ask questions and receive answers, you alleviate a great deal of your stress.
Tell your attorney your biggest worries and concerns about the pending case. When you identify those worries and then discuss them with your attorney, your stress level reduces dramatically.
Make informed decisions. There will be many decisions that you will be making throughout the legal process. Don’t be afraid to ask your attorney to share the pluses and minuses of the decisions you are considering making. Weighing those pluses and minuses of the decisions allows you to make the empowered choices that are right for you.
Get the emotional support that you need during this process. Meditation and breathing practices are ways that many people can soothe themselves. Others benefit from seeing a therapist, substance abuse counselor, or other professionals who can offer extra support. Ask your lawyer for resources that could benefit you so that you have the emotional support you need while your case is pending and also to support you after your case is behind you.
Let go of what you cannot control. Acknowledge that there are some aspects of your case, and your life, that are outside of your control. When you know that you have taken action on the things that are within your control, I invite you to release concerns about what you cannot control and redirect your energy towards what you can control.
Action Items
The next time you find yourself overwhelmed by legal worries or other stressors, ask yourself:
Is this something I can control?
If so, what action can I take right now to improve my situation? Then, take those actions.
If this is not something I can control, can I influence it?
If I can influence it and I want to try to influence it, what actions can I take right now to influence it? Then, take those actions.
If this is something that is beyond my control and beyond my influence, will I give myself permission to let it go?
Adopting the mantra "I focus on what I can control" can help bring you peace during this challenging time. Consider starting your day with this mantra to reinforce your focus and calm your mind. If you found this article helpful, please let us know and share it with someone else facing a pending legal case or other stress in their life. By sharing what we’ve learned that has helped us thus far in this life, we help others and make our world a better place.
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